Because I Exactly Know Posted at 1:12:00 am 0 comments (+) Having a literal no-life succesfully brings my wicked fantasy about what-if situation. What if I put a bullet inside my head? What a dead is like? Is there any afterlife? Like really?
Those questions actually linger inside my skull, bring back to my memory back then when I was a high school student, arguing that even a suicidal is a form of freedom and thus we can bring death whenever we want and it's just a mere choice that all of the people should respect the way we died. No matter how cruel it seems.
Sadness and worries are infectious negative feelings that inevitably invade my brains. Sometimes my life seems like a big fail and all the worries fill me, corrupting the thing inside my skull and I begin to bring those questions back. I just feel totally gloomy, and all I want to do is combating the feelings. I just feel so bad about myself, over and over, and it feels so endless.Yielding in best case situation that I create to cheer my own feeling, sometimes I end up saying I don't know for the best bet.
I don't know are tricky words. It shows vulnerability yet innocence of human. It's an excuse to not doing something because simply I don't know. I don't know is a sign of fear. The feeling that suddenly consume you entirely slowly. You know. You understand, but too much afraid to accept the truth. Basically all of the no-life situation is explainable. I just don't dare to face it. I know.