Twentysomethings (2) Posted at 4:20:00 am 0 comments (+) Life was not as good as I intended to do it. Sometimes life is like a brick thrown right to your face. It hurt you freaking bad and the only thing you do to overcome it is continue your life. Striving hard for whatever you fight for.
Problem is, I tend to take less care for mental injury. Instead of healing the bruise, I beat myself mentally screaming, "No, stupid me. It's the other way around." No wonder I got deppresed more and more.
In the 24th, first thing I did was finding my lost pieces. I travelled, networked like crazy over certain clubs (from marketing class to public speaking class), read books, not fifty grey of shit things but Seth Godin's, Stephen Covey's or any kind of self help books. I did not really like that kind of books back then because I knew what I always wanted to do, but in my early 24th I was lost. I did not even know what else I need to do other than clicking my pen on the table and nervously waited otherday to get better. All I knew in the next day was I wasted the whole time and I did the same thing in the next day, beat myself again and I wasted another time. The books helped me to let me know what I should do instead of worrying unknown things. I also contacted all the people I know and savored every single time. First thing I realized after I contacted the people for networking was I am grateful for having them at the first place before my life began to be ruined. It was my first route to heal my mental injuries. I saved money and I took the high road. I quitted the toxic job and it was the best thing I had done. Without anything lined up.
My parents,however, were not so happy. Or still are? I don't care. I need to pursue my own dream.
The hard truth is, pursuing my own dream is an abstract thing. I don't know how or why to start. But I started to do everything I wanted. I always wanted to be a farmer back then. Farmer was a job where you can spend time outdoor and it is great since I like outdoor thing. The thing I realized in that perfect day was farming was labour work and I smelled shit. All the day I got to spread manure on the farm.
Now I got a less than stellar job to be a teacher. Something I look forward everyday. Other people might be in their stellar first job on UK France or else. I just don't know how to get that kind of job yet. But this journey is not a single trajectory with all glories and rainbows. Sometimes it's a bunch of setbacks and failures just to make surr I learned all the things I should have done.