another way by breaking the rules but I'm still living with the society and I need them to make my life better. It's not that I have a value for not having sex it's just the society trampled me into it. Same goes as religion and any kind of value I have. The more I question them the more I'm enlightened in some way which goes to the less favored by my society I'm currently living in. Take example on how I socialize with my friends, where I spend time in the late evening. Yes I know it is not acceptable but how this view is pigeonholed me as a whore instead of a mere human who need other human interactions is simply obnoxious despite the fact that yes I am an extrovert and yes I got depressed because I don't have enough human exposure I needed during the day. Grinding my nose on the distasteful job title is of course unglamorous way to pursue what people have called passion. Now I know why people told me the passion is mere bullshit. All you need is just money. Tell me the nonexistent sparkling glorious rainbow paved in pursuing your passion. Meh. The truth is you still to working on the unpaved way if you wish to pursue your passion. Certainly I met the people who claimed they live for their passion and they fell into the long abstinence before finally robbing others' and get married for the sake of legal sex and the acceptance of being a woman. PHEW. THAT'S SO LOW. Then because I live at home with my parents (I just have to, I really wanted to move but they didn't allow me. ) now I endured the very abrasive contact on the cut of my society has just done to me. Which is great. Fuck you. At the end, living with parents is just a nightmare. I don't hate them of course but the fact that we are both mature people with our values and thoughts on our own responsibility. All I want to do is moving out from the house and never ever come back again. Simply because I respect them as my parents yet I have choices on my own. I'm still the same person whose childhood was spent entirely on tinkering how to escape the locked house. I'm still the same person whose childhood was asking god's entity. I'm still the same person whose childhood was proving woman reign as human instead of just being, before getting married. I need that freedom.