I fall in love again and it goes like, why?
Why did things happen to me without I get the notice.
I lost my frontal part lobe (figuratively of course) since my logic falls apart. The dophamine, oxytocin and adrenaline rushed through my blood and blocked the nerves for my logical thinking.
Damn.
I fall hard. I always do. I fall for this guy because there is a sense of "capturing this boy alive". This guy bring my primal sense of chasing him. I can't help but keep obsessing over him. And the thoughts are eating up away all the good parts in my life : cool brother, awesome friends, wonderful parents. I treat them as soft pillows that is just okay when I punched them. I know they are not okay with the new me. The grumpy side of me. The fool side of me. The OCD side of me. I'm talking about you, darling. Again and again. Until my friends' ears grow hair, hurt and burn.
Somehow along the way I met someone who has the same page as mine. And she is my cousin. We fall in love with the wrong kind of people that somehow I believe that it might be genetics. Probably. Unapproved by scientific methodical approach. But at least we are so damned in the same situation. Fall for guys who might be emotionally unavailable.
We cry over the same things together and let ourselves become the soft punched bags. We beat ourselves. Then we hug each other. We are strong women.
I realize something beautiful, that you might encounter the worst things in order to appreciate things that you already have. Sometimes, you forget to count our blessings for the bad things happened. So I thank the universe for all the things in my life because I found this little sister for me. Repeat a mantra: This too, shall pass, my dear self.